The Mounties Always Get Their Syrup

By Scoop Cooper
Crime Reporter
KEDGWICK, CANADA - A total of 18 people have been arrested and charged with stealing 9,600 barrels of maple syrup.  Actually, they siphoned off the syrup and left the empty barrels behind.  I doubt the thieves actually clamped hoses in their lips and sucked until they turned blue.  Yet, given the viscosity of syrup, it sounds like like a long, slow heist.  It was.  Somehow, the tons of syrup was gradually drained away from August 2011 to July 2012 without anyone noticing.  An alarming number of empty barrels was finally discovered on August 24 at a huge distribution center in Saint-Louis-de-Blandford.
     The distribution center is owned by a maple syrup cartel (yes there really is such a thing) called the Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers.  The Federation administers a bulk sale system for 7,500 maple syrup producers.  In fact, their warehouse, about 100 miles southwest of Quebec City, contains a total of 3.4 million liters of syrup.  That's 10% of all the maple syrup produced by Quebec, and Quebec produces 75% of all the maple syrup in the world.
     The missing syrup is insured for $18 million, debunking the assumption that Canada has nothing worth stealing.
     Quick as molasses, the stolen syrup was tracked down by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police late in December.  Backed up by the local police, the mounties seized 400,000 pounds of the hot syrup from S.K. Export, an export company in Kedgwick, New Brunswick.  Authorities seek to arrest seven more suspects in connection with the theft.  Personally, I'd look for anyone with sticky hands, hearty lungs and lips like a vice.  Then again, that does describe most Canadians.