By Mark Lucas
News Editor
Big Bird costumes are selling out this Halloween.
Ever since the popular Muppet was mentioned in the first presidential debate, the sale of Big Bird outfits has increased up to 500%. When asked how he'd cut federal spending, Republican presidential nominee and leader of the Fantastic Four Mitt Romney immediately targeted PBS in general and Big Bird by name. The remark led to an explosion of online comments, political jokes and even campaign ads.
However, kids dressed like little yellow canaries will not necessarily be flocking around the neighborhood pecking for candy this Halloween. No. The biggest sales increase has been in sexy and sassy Big Bird costumes for adult women. These scanty outfits often consist of little more than striped stockings, a cute bug-eyed headband and just enough yellow feathers to avoid charges of indecent exposure.
So, when Romney said he'd cut PBS funding even though, "I love Big Bird," apparently some Republican admirers took him literally. Any couples aroused to role playing in the bedroom would just need a sexy Big Bird costume for the woman, and a Romney mask for the man and then ... Oh, no! No! Gross! No!
Poor Big Bird!
I just want to take my brain out of my skull and scrub that image from my mind!
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Showing posts with label debate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label debate. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Saturday, October 13, 2012
What Debate Were Pundits Watching?
By Mark Lucas
News Editor
Paid Republican mouthpieces have been less successful in persuading voters to ignore the evidence of their own eyes in the wake of the vice presidential debate.
On Thursday night, Democratic Vice President and blabbermouth Joe Biden faced his steel-pumping Republican opponent Paul Ryan in their first and only debate. Despite his reputation for slips of the tongue, Biden concisely marshaled the facts without misspeaking for 90 minutes. By contrast, fact checkers after the debate found that Ryan had lied about ... well, everything. Ever since then, the supposedly impartial pundits of the conservative-owned media claimed the debate was a tie. Many even faulted Biden with being disrespectful, undignified and generally over-the-top. These same commentators criticized Democratic President and former Rastafarian Barack Obama for being too listless and subdued in his first debate. So, according to the "objective" talking heads, no matter what the Democrats do, they cannot possibly win a debate, and the Republicans can do no wrong.
This time, the public isn't buying the propaganda, according to early polls about the vice presidential debate. A CNN survey of 381 registered voters showed Ryan won the debate 48% to Biden's 44%. With a 5% margin of error, that is a virtual tie, especially since most of those polled have already decided who to vote for anyway. However, a CBS poll of 431 UNDECIDED voters found that 50% thought Biden won, 39% thought Ryan won and 19% said the debate was a tie. That's pretty decisive for a group that is, by nature, indecisive.
Now, let's see how much media coverage these new polls get compared to the polls that favored Republican presidential nominee and chronic flipflopper Mitt Romney a week ago.
News Editor
Paid Republican mouthpieces have been less successful in persuading voters to ignore the evidence of their own eyes in the wake of the vice presidential debate.
On Thursday night, Democratic Vice President and blabbermouth Joe Biden faced his steel-pumping Republican opponent Paul Ryan in their first and only debate. Despite his reputation for slips of the tongue, Biden concisely marshaled the facts without misspeaking for 90 minutes. By contrast, fact checkers after the debate found that Ryan had lied about ... well, everything. Ever since then, the supposedly impartial pundits of the conservative-owned media claimed the debate was a tie. Many even faulted Biden with being disrespectful, undignified and generally over-the-top. These same commentators criticized Democratic President and former Rastafarian Barack Obama for being too listless and subdued in his first debate. So, according to the "objective" talking heads, no matter what the Democrats do, they cannot possibly win a debate, and the Republicans can do no wrong.
This time, the public isn't buying the propaganda, according to early polls about the vice presidential debate. A CNN survey of 381 registered voters showed Ryan won the debate 48% to Biden's 44%. With a 5% margin of error, that is a virtual tie, especially since most of those polled have already decided who to vote for anyway. However, a CBS poll of 431 UNDECIDED voters found that 50% thought Biden won, 39% thought Ryan won and 19% said the debate was a tie. That's pretty decisive for a group that is, by nature, indecisive.
Now, let's see how much media coverage these new polls get compared to the polls that favored Republican presidential nominee and chronic flipflopper Mitt Romney a week ago.
Friday, October 12, 2012
A Laughable Debate
By Mark Lucas
News Editor
DANVILLE, KENTUCKY - Vice President Joe Biden laughed his slick opponent right off the stage at Thursday night's debate.
The event didn't seem to follow the script prepared by Republican US Congressman and snake oil salesman Paul Ryan. At times, Ryan spouted lines that were clearly rehearsed, but out of touch with what was happening. He tried to silence Biden with a reference to the recent loss of the Democratic campaign's substantial lead.
"I know you're under duress," Ryan said, implying that Biden was under pressure to perform..
Actually, Biden, known as a veteran "Happy Warrior" of national politics spent much of the debate smiling and laughing at Ryan's claims. Showing both candidates simultaneously on the TV screen accentuated Biden's reactions to his poor opponent. As Ryan spoke, Biden hovered over his shoulder looking like his conscience or a translator for the hearing impaired. Biden continually shook his head and corrected Ryan's lies.
Early in the debate, Biden described Ryan's statements as just a bunch of "stuff," barely refraining from the use of a more profane word. When the moderator pressed Biden to explain what he meant by "stuff." Ryan insulted himself by translating that Biden viewed the Republican positions as a bunch of "malarkey."
Ryan bragged that his muppet hating running mate, Mitt Romney, worked with Democrats while serving as the Republican governor of Massachusetts. Biden pointed out that Romney is so unpopular in Massachusetts that he is not even bothering to campaign there now.
Eventually, Biden began talking over Ryan's sales pitches. At one point, Biden actually dismissed Ryan with a wave of his hand and said, "Blah, blah, blah."
Ryan accused the Democrats of trying to scare voters because they couldn't campaign on their record. Biden fell back on a political career which is longer and more distinguished than all of the other presidential and vice presidential candidates combined. In his most effective moments, Biden took his argument directly to the viewers, instead of his opponent or the moderator.
"Folks, follow your instincts on this one," Biden said, looking into the camera on several occasions. "Their ideas are old, and their ideas are bad ... Who do you trust on this? ... My record stands for itself."
Even in his closing statement, Biden sought to reassure, rather than frighten, the audience. He vowed the administration of Democratic President and Kenyan expatriate Barack Obama would oppose any Republican plans to allow private businesses to take over Social Security or Medicare.
"It's going to be OK. That's what this election is all about," Biden concluded.
Immediately after the vice presidential debate, the hired pundits of the conservative-owned media took to the airwaves to tell the viewers what they had just seen with their own eyes. Even they couldn't sell the idea of a Republican victory to the public this time. However, since Ryan was able to walk off the stage under his own power, the commentators did declare the vice presidential debate a tie.
News Editor
DANVILLE, KENTUCKY - Vice President Joe Biden laughed his slick opponent right off the stage at Thursday night's debate.
The event didn't seem to follow the script prepared by Republican US Congressman and snake oil salesman Paul Ryan. At times, Ryan spouted lines that were clearly rehearsed, but out of touch with what was happening. He tried to silence Biden with a reference to the recent loss of the Democratic campaign's substantial lead.
"I know you're under duress," Ryan said, implying that Biden was under pressure to perform..
Actually, Biden, known as a veteran "Happy Warrior" of national politics spent much of the debate smiling and laughing at Ryan's claims. Showing both candidates simultaneously on the TV screen accentuated Biden's reactions to his poor opponent. As Ryan spoke, Biden hovered over his shoulder looking like his conscience or a translator for the hearing impaired. Biden continually shook his head and corrected Ryan's lies.
Early in the debate, Biden described Ryan's statements as just a bunch of "stuff," barely refraining from the use of a more profane word. When the moderator pressed Biden to explain what he meant by "stuff." Ryan insulted himself by translating that Biden viewed the Republican positions as a bunch of "malarkey."
Ryan bragged that his muppet hating running mate, Mitt Romney, worked with Democrats while serving as the Republican governor of Massachusetts. Biden pointed out that Romney is so unpopular in Massachusetts that he is not even bothering to campaign there now.
Eventually, Biden began talking over Ryan's sales pitches. At one point, Biden actually dismissed Ryan with a wave of his hand and said, "Blah, blah, blah."
Ryan accused the Democrats of trying to scare voters because they couldn't campaign on their record. Biden fell back on a political career which is longer and more distinguished than all of the other presidential and vice presidential candidates combined. In his most effective moments, Biden took his argument directly to the viewers, instead of his opponent or the moderator.
"Folks, follow your instincts on this one," Biden said, looking into the camera on several occasions. "Their ideas are old, and their ideas are bad ... Who do you trust on this? ... My record stands for itself."
Even in his closing statement, Biden sought to reassure, rather than frighten, the audience. He vowed the administration of Democratic President and Kenyan expatriate Barack Obama would oppose any Republican plans to allow private businesses to take over Social Security or Medicare.
"It's going to be OK. That's what this election is all about," Biden concluded.
Immediately after the vice presidential debate, the hired pundits of the conservative-owned media took to the airwaves to tell the viewers what they had just seen with their own eyes. Even they couldn't sell the idea of a Republican victory to the public this time. However, since Ryan was able to walk off the stage under his own power, the commentators did declare the vice presidential debate a tie.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
A Debatable Outcome
By Mark Lucas
News Editor
DENVER, COLORADO - Despite threats to fire the moderator and a popular muppett, Mitt Romney has been dubbed the winner of the first presidential debate Wednesday night.
The curtain rose on the theater of the absurd after Romney was pressed for details on how he would balance the federal budget by condensing government departments and cutting public programs. The Republican nominee, and Grecian Formula model, said he would cut any program that was not vital enough to fund with money borrowed from China. Then, all on his own, Romney blindsided the debate moderator and a beloved children's character by citing PBS as something that should lose all federal funding.
"I love Big Bird," Romney said. Hopefully, he meant in the platonic sense. Then Romney gestured across the table to venerable PBS journalist Jim Lehrer and added, apologetically, "I actually like you too."
Twitter immediately exploded with 17,000 posts per minute about Romney's statement. Today, the internet flooded with humorous comments and doctored photos of muppetts. Late night TV shows bombarded Big Bird with invitations. However, "Sesame Street" producers at the Children's Television Workshop are politically non partisan, effectively muzzling the muppett. Fittingly, Big Bird's only reference to the uproar came today in a belated Tweet. The giant yellow canary told his followers on Twitter that he went to bed at 7 p.m. Wednesday night before the debate began.
"Did I miss anything?" Big Bird asked innocently.
Even Democratic President Barack Obama commented on the campaign trail today.
"Thank goodness someone is finally getting tough on Big Bird. It's about time," Obama wisecracked.
Hopefully, Romney's conflict with a make-believe character will not go as far as a similar incident several decades ago. That's when Vice President and Republican dimwit Dan Quayle managed to lose a running argument with fictional TV single mother Murphy Brown. At least she was a human.
To address the financial problems facing America, Romney is only falling back on familiar methods that have worked for him in the past. Romney built his vast fortune at a supervillain organization called Bain Capital. They would find a struggling company that they could buy at a steal. Then Bain would "turn the business around" by laying everyone off, closing the doors and selling everything down to the carpets. No one seems worried about giving a vulture capitalist the keys to the federal government.
After Romney mounts Big Bird's head over the fireplace in the Oval Office, the other muppetts would also be laid off. America's children would see a much meaner "Sesame Street" with Grover panhandling next to a crazy war veteran, Elmo a drug mule for a street gang, Cookie Monster a 600 pound shut-in, Bert and Ernie dead from a murder/suicide pact and Oscar living in a trash can. Okay, he already does. Oscar is a survivor. However, it's not a pretty picture for the rest of "Sesame Street."
In fact, "Sesame Street" gets little money from the federal government. "Sesame Street" is mostly funded by corporate sponsorships, product sales, donations, the letter D and the number 2.
The latest public polls show that 25% of the viewers thought Obama won the debate and 67% thought Romney won. After the debate, pundits explained that Obama lost because by the end of the 90 minute debate he did not balance the budget, pay off the national debt, reverse the balance of trade with China, find a job for every person in America, heal the sick and walk on water. On the other hand, Romney won the debate because he managed to go 90 minutes without sounding like a raving madman.
News Editor
DENVER, COLORADO - Despite threats to fire the moderator and a popular muppett, Mitt Romney has been dubbed the winner of the first presidential debate Wednesday night.
The curtain rose on the theater of the absurd after Romney was pressed for details on how he would balance the federal budget by condensing government departments and cutting public programs. The Republican nominee, and Grecian Formula model, said he would cut any program that was not vital enough to fund with money borrowed from China. Then, all on his own, Romney blindsided the debate moderator and a beloved children's character by citing PBS as something that should lose all federal funding.
"I love Big Bird," Romney said. Hopefully, he meant in the platonic sense. Then Romney gestured across the table to venerable PBS journalist Jim Lehrer and added, apologetically, "I actually like you too."
Twitter immediately exploded with 17,000 posts per minute about Romney's statement. Today, the internet flooded with humorous comments and doctored photos of muppetts. Late night TV shows bombarded Big Bird with invitations. However, "Sesame Street" producers at the Children's Television Workshop are politically non partisan, effectively muzzling the muppett. Fittingly, Big Bird's only reference to the uproar came today in a belated Tweet. The giant yellow canary told his followers on Twitter that he went to bed at 7 p.m. Wednesday night before the debate began.
"Did I miss anything?" Big Bird asked innocently.
Even Democratic President Barack Obama commented on the campaign trail today.
"Thank goodness someone is finally getting tough on Big Bird. It's about time," Obama wisecracked.
Hopefully, Romney's conflict with a make-believe character will not go as far as a similar incident several decades ago. That's when Vice President and Republican dimwit Dan Quayle managed to lose a running argument with fictional TV single mother Murphy Brown. At least she was a human.
To address the financial problems facing America, Romney is only falling back on familiar methods that have worked for him in the past. Romney built his vast fortune at a supervillain organization called Bain Capital. They would find a struggling company that they could buy at a steal. Then Bain would "turn the business around" by laying everyone off, closing the doors and selling everything down to the carpets. No one seems worried about giving a vulture capitalist the keys to the federal government.
After Romney mounts Big Bird's head over the fireplace in the Oval Office, the other muppetts would also be laid off. America's children would see a much meaner "Sesame Street" with Grover panhandling next to a crazy war veteran, Elmo a drug mule for a street gang, Cookie Monster a 600 pound shut-in, Bert and Ernie dead from a murder/suicide pact and Oscar living in a trash can. Okay, he already does. Oscar is a survivor. However, it's not a pretty picture for the rest of "Sesame Street."
In fact, "Sesame Street" gets little money from the federal government. "Sesame Street" is mostly funded by corporate sponsorships, product sales, donations, the letter D and the number 2.
The latest public polls show that 25% of the viewers thought Obama won the debate and 67% thought Romney won. After the debate, pundits explained that Obama lost because by the end of the 90 minute debate he did not balance the budget, pay off the national debt, reverse the balance of trade with China, find a job for every person in America, heal the sick and walk on water. On the other hand, Romney won the debate because he managed to go 90 minutes without sounding like a raving madman.
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