Chicks Dress Like Big Bird

By Mark Lucas
News Editor
     Big Bird costumes are selling out this Halloween.
     Ever since the popular Muppet was mentioned in the first presidential debate, the sale of Big Bird outfits has increased up to 500%.  When asked how he'd cut federal spending, Republican  presidential nominee and leader of the Fantastic Four Mitt Romney immediately targeted PBS in general and Big Bird by name. The remark led to an explosion of online comments, political jokes and even campaign ads.
      However, kids dressed like little yellow canaries will not necessarily be flocking around the neighborhood pecking for candy this Halloween.  No.  The biggest sales increase has been in sexy and sassy Big Bird costumes for adult women. These scanty outfits often consist of little more than striped stockings, a cute bug-eyed headband and just enough yellow feathers to avoid charges of indecent exposure.
      So, when Romney said he'd cut PBS funding even though, "I love Big Bird," apparently some Republican admirers took him literally.  Any couples aroused to role playing in the bedroom would just need a sexy Big Bird costume for the woman, and a Romney mask for the man and then ... Oh, no! No! Gross! No!
      Poor Big Bird!
      I just want to take my brain out of my skull and scrub that image from my mind!

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