By Scoop Cooper
Crime Reporter
STILLWATER, OKLAHOMA - A 27-year-old man was arraigned today for allegedly robbing an adult novelty store of two porn magazines, a blow up sex doll and, oh yeah, $150 in cash.
While pretending to buy some smut on Oct. 10, the robber reportedly ran behind the cashier and forced his head down on the check out counter. During the robbery, he allegedly threatened to kill the cashier with a knife, an odd choice of weapon since the robber grabbed a $300 inflatable lady friend before fleeing.
The robber was disguised in a stringy Halloween wig from a nearby Walmart. Police were not fooled, and set off in pursuit. After a five-mile, high speed chase, the suspect smashed his pickup truck into a utility pole. Police subdued the criminal mastermind with two taser jolts. The suspect was not seriously injured. However, his truck was totaled and his latex sidekick mortally wounded. Apparently, the inflatable molly was the brains of the team and enjoyed her brief ride on the wild side. She died with a smile on her face.
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