By Sir Sterling T. Noseworthy Jr. III, Esq.
International Correspondent
GERMANY - A pair of former bartenders is quenching the endless male thirst for ta tas.
They founded a liquor company called G-Spirits and employed beautiful women to flavor their limited runs of rum, whiskey and vodka. Every drop of their alcohol is poured over the naked breasts of a famous model before it is bottled. Each custom bottle sports a photo of its female ingredient and a certificate of authenticity. G. Liquors assures a sanitary bottling process which is monitored by some of the luckiest people in the medical profession.
So, does anyone have a hankering for Miss International Hungary finalist Evelin Aubert? Try a bottle of G. Vodka for $119. How about Alexa Varga, the Hungary Playmate of 2012? She's a good year. However, a bottle of single malt whiskey from Scottland which has been poured over Ms. Varga's knockers costs $179, plus shipping. Meanwhile, 23-year-old Hungarian Playmate Amina Malakona is barely older than the 10-year-old tropical rum that was filtered through her knockers to make G. Rum No. 1 for $166 per bottle.
Those who cannot afford G-Spirits can always resort to traditional, less expensive alcohol. A pint of Drunken Frat Girl Beer is a favorite among college students. While, the jobless must settle for a bottle of Dirty Hobo Muscatel, and the less said about that distilling process the better.
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