By Mark Lucas
BOCA RATON, FLORIDA - Both presidential candidates kept talking about the economy Monday night, even though their final debate was supposed to focus on foreign policy.
Republican nominee and Olympic savior Mitt Romney frequently looked pained and hunted as he was repeatedly corrected and accused of lying. Democratic President and closet communist Barrack Obama looked like the panther that was stalking Romney. However, Obama's short hair is graying, giving his scalp the metallic look of an android.
The candidates differed sharply over military spending. Romney suffered the closest thing to a knock-out blow after complaining that the US Navy would soon have the fewest ships since 1917.
"Well, governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets because the nature of our military has changed," Obama said. It was one of the few times laughter and applause was evoked from the audience.
Many times, Romney tried to strike a more cordial tone. However, even when he agreed with his opponent, Obama would point out that Romney's positions had flip flopped.
"Governor Romney, you keep trying to airbrush history," Obama finally said.
With sweat forming on his upper lip, Romney fell back on his well worn economic positions. He spouted the exact same line again about creating 12 million new jobs.
"The problem is they won't be here, they'll be in places like China," said Obama, who seemed prepared with more new material than his opponent. He pointed out that Romney's plans to balance the federal budget without increasing taxes on the rich did not add up. Romney denied the accusation, urging viewers to visit his website where his plans were clearly explained.
"We visited the website quite a bit, and it still doesn't work," Obama said confidently.
Once again, Romney said he could cut government programs without harm or malice. This time, the list of programs that he would target grew from PBS and Planned Parenthood to include public education. In the first presidential debate Romney memorably said, "I love Big Bird." In an eerie, and hopefully platonic parallel, on Monday night, Romney concluded by saying, "I love teachers."
"I think we all love teachers," moderator Bob Schieffer interrupted with a laugh.
Actually, the biggest blunder of the night came from Schieffer himself, instead of one of the candidates. At one point, the moderator accidentally referred to the deceased leader of Al Qaeda as, "Obama Bin Laden."
Obama pointed out that Romney would've let the US auto industry go out of business. Romney emotionally denied the charge by touting his family ties to car manufacturing.
"I'm a son of Detroit," Romney said.
The auto unions in Detroit say, he's a son of something else.
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